Tuesday, December 22, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 25

After the kitchen incident, Adaeze avoided me like a plague. She was very cold to me and even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I felt it was one of the best things that had happened in a long time. There was no one to sneak in on me unexpectedly as if she was hoping to find me doing something wrong. I did my duties diligently. Ogochukwu had taught me how to use the washing machine and the dryer. I cooked delicious meals that I knew Lady J liked. It was her turn to host the next meeting and I was overwhelmed with shopping at the market, cleaning the house and cooking. Olisa also had a change in attitude towards me. He used to pop into the kitchen randomly to check on me , all that changed after the kitchen incident.
One Afternoon, I was folding clothes upstairs when I heard the doorbell ring. I went down the stairs. Olisa was watching television on the sofa with the remote control in his hand. I walked towards the huge front door and looked through the peephole. It was a young lady standing outside, I opened the door and she sized me up.
"Hello who are you here to see?." I asked. I had never seen her before today. Adaeze had gone back to campus and Ogochukwu hadn't been home in weeks.Maybe she was here to see Lady J.
"I am here to see Daniel " she responded. There was no one called Daniel who lived in this house. I looked T her from head to toe. She was wearing a mini skirt and a red top with the neckline plunging down to show cleavage. My mother told me to beware of people who came to look for non existent residents of homes because it was usually a plot to do something bad but she didn't look like one. Was there a way people who did bad things looked anyway?
"There is no one called Daniel here" I replied
"Are you kidding me.?'" she snorted with laughter. I was confused, what was she laughing at, myself or her rather confused confidence,
" There is no one called Daniel here" I replied flatly. All these lousy city girls with their fake gestures, fake hair, nails and eyelashes too. Her eyelashes looked like hair from parts of a vulture, her hair looked like horse whip with fray ends.
She turned around and pointed at Olisa's red Honda Accord
"That is Daniel's car" she replied
"Olisa ." I blurted out. Was his name Daniel? Or a name given to people like her so he couldn't be easily traced but because she is crazy she would have probably paid someone to get the address.
" Daniel " she corrected with an angry tone in her voice
"Well that is brother Olisa's car" I told her
" Is he at home or not?" She asked me with that same angry tone in her voice. What was she angry about anyway, she just got here and if Olisa was not within earshot I would have told her he was out of town. Let me see how she would enter the house looking like a scarecrow in that outfit .
"He is at home ,what is your name let me let him know you are here to see him?" I said to her. She looked at me and clapped her hands in disgust like those market women in my hometown when they were surprised at  behavior that was unknown to them.

"Well since he is at home, let me in then" she said.
"What is your name?" I said firmly. I was beginning to get angry.
"Tell him he has a guest" she replied and pulled out a cell phone from her purse. I didn't move an inch. She began to push some buttons on her phone and put the phone to her ear. I stood firm and looked at her while she mean mugged me as she waited for the person on the other end to answer, suddenly she began to speak
" Hello, Daniel!, I am outside your house and one idiot is here speaking English with me" she screamed into the phone. I watched in amazement as the scarecrow in my presence had the never to call me an idiot.
 She continued talking until i heard footsteps, Olisa was behind me.
"Whats going on here?" Olisa asked.
"She said she was looking for Daniel" i told him
"And she was very rude to me?" The scarecrow looking female yelled as she put her phone back into her purse.
"I was not rude to you,  asking questions is part of my job, you refused to tell me your name" i responded.
"Why would i tell a common servant like you my name? she said to me.
"Enough" Olisa said and looked at the both of us in disgust.
"Both of you go inside the house now" he told us. I didn't argue, i walked in, hot tears began to run down my cheeks

Monday, December 21, 2015

A QC MEMORY: A DRINK OF WATER

Boarders always made water seem like something out of an oasis. Surely. It seemed very precious to them especially cold water. As a day girl i was used to my fellow classmates who were boarders holding out cups begging for cold water to drink early in the morning and giving it to them was like a blessing. Water from home was unlike the dining hall water or any other place on campus and this  made Day girls prey to the thirsty boarders in the morning. There was this particular chic who was not so generous, she didn't seem to have compassion for those needy girls who begged for water, its like everyone expected her to say "no"so a lot of people gave up. No one even asked her for water. One day, it was time to go to the gym for P.E. Most of the girls in class left after changing into the PE outfits which consisted of white T shirts and shorts which were the colors of individual houses the student belonged to and left three girls behind. As soon as everywhere was quiet, the girl's laughed and this was the conversation that ensued between them.
"I guess i will take my time to get to the gym"said the first girl.
"I know" the second girl replied
"I am thirsty, i need to drink some water, who has water in this class?" the third girl said. The first girl struggled to take her shirt off revealing her black bra.
"There is water in the orange and white flask by the window, you know the owner is a miser" the second girl said.
"I don't understand why some people don't like to share, even to the point of ordinary drinking water," the third girl responded as she walked towards the location of the flask.
"You know what, lets finish the water," the second girl suggested.
"No, it would be too obvious, just drink to your heart's fill and i would spit inside the water," the first girl responded. The third girl opened the flask and poured out some water. The second girl went to her locker and brought out a blue cup.
"Pour some here, I will use it to soak garri later," she said as she handed the cup to the third girl who poured out some water. The first girl took the cup and poured some water into it and drank.
"Are you guys done with the water?" the first girl asked.
"Yes" the other two replied. The first girl spat inside the flask, shook the contents and covered it up. The three girls laughed.
"Watch, if you ask her for water, she will say no" the third girl said.
"You girls,lets go' the first girl said and the other two scrambled up their things and they walked out of the classroom towards the gym.

******************************************************************************
An hour later, most members of the class walked back to class. It was a relief and some girls sank into their seats, it was break time. Most of the girls started changing from their PE outfits back into their school uniforms. The owner of the flask went to her seat  not suspicious of anything. The three girls sauntered into the classroom laughing. The first girl walked to the owner of the orange and white flask that contained the water. The other two girls stood watching.
"Can i get a cup of water from you,' the first girl asked.
"No, i don't have enough water to give you" the flask owner replied.
"It's not fair oh, i haven't asked you for water at all this week, you have never given me water and see how I am begging you, its not fair" the first girl said. The flask owner said nothing, seeing the first girl was bent on getting some water she was forced to respond.
"Look, don't disturb me, I already said no" the flask owner responded as she took her flask which was sitting on the floor. She opened the flask and poured herself a cup to drink. She began to drink, the other two girls who were watching laughed. The first girl smiled contentedly. Mission accomplished!!!!!! In m my own opinion. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Evidence: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID

Ho Ho Ho !!! I myself never saw this coming but YES. I decided to make the first 20 parts into a short read on AMAZON. Wohoo. Thank you all amazing people who read this and comment. Nairalanders you are my biggest readers. Thank you all so much,
  The story will continue on the blog, The older parts in the book (Part 1-20) wont be available back on the blog until March 16 2016.
It will be free tomorrow  December 18 2015 on Amazon, feel free to download it. Thank you all so much.


CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 24

I was stunned. It was the familiar voice of nobody else but Adaeze who seemed to manifest into places when she was least expected.
" I repeat what is going on here?"Adaeze repeated loud and clear as she walked towards us Olisa removed himself from my embrace.
"Nothing ma" I said as I put my hands nervously behind back.
"Nothing" she repeated and gave me unfriendly look.
"What do you want?" Olisa asked her coldly.
"What do I want?" she repeated his statement and cast a glance at me and then back at him. Last time i checked this is my house and i have the right to go anywhere i want" she replied.
"Okay supervisor since you are busy supervising the affairs of this house, you walked into an emotional moment"Olisa replied sarcastically.
"Olisa, you are crazy" Adaeze yelled.
"What's your problem, every time you snoop around the house expecting everyone to be afraid of you" Olisa said.
"Because you are in the kitchen romancing the maid and you just got caught and what did you buy for her anyway, what is in this bag" Adaeze said and snatched the bags that i put on the floor and opened it, Olisa looked angrily at her and snatched the bags from her.
"Mind your business Adaeze," he said as he snatched the bags from her. I was confused,my biggest fear was not both of them having a usual squabble but Lady D walking into the kitchen to meet the commotion.
"So you went to Sweet Sensation to buy food that the maid will cook for you," Adaeze sneered. She had seen the Sweet Sensations food bag.
"Adaeze what is your problem now?" Olisa asked angrily.
"You and Grace are my problem, don't you have a girlfriend on campus better than Grace, polished educated" Adaeze said in a tone that hit me down my spine.
"Is there anything wrong with me buying something?" I said all of a sudden. I found my voice and maybe I needed to start speaking up for things to change instead of just being an obedient servant as usual, not saying anything to avoid drama.
"Look at this shameless she goat, you are not even afraid to talk, you are over here in the kitchen getting remnants while he goes to school and hangs opened your legs already, this emotional embrace is just a revelation"
Olisa grabbed her by the neck and shoved her to the fridge. I gasped not knowing what to expect next, she kicked him to let him loose grip but he was stronger than that.
"Adaeze i know you can be really stupid sometimes , you can also be a snob, but let this be the last time you say any demeaning thing to Grace in my presence ever again" he said right in her face and loosened his grip on her neck and dropped her.
She dropped to the floor holding her neck. She looked at me angrily, Olisa took the bags he brought for me and walked out of the kitchen.




Thursday, December 10, 2015

FOR THE SAKE OF BRAZILIAN HAIR

So i have this friend, we were having a discussion one day and she was telling me about the guy she was dating and how conservative he was with money unlike most other guys she had dated. He told her that she had very expensive taste and tried to help her spend rationally. It is true sha... this my friend can spend money like she is drinking Eva water.
She told me that he said her "exotic weave" was expensive and it was better for her to get her natural hair done at the shop since it was long and luscious and that was where wahala started.
"Why is he telling me that my Brazilian hair is expensive, shebi he saw me with it the first day he met me and he liked it, now we are dating, ordinary eighty thousand naira to buy hair, he is telling me story, please there are other men out there willing to spend more on me, if he is not interested, he can leave"
I didn't even know what to say right after she made the comment because

1) They were in a committed relationship, He had already met with her parents, she already told him the type of ring she wanted, all that was left was the perfect proposal.
2) This chic was making six figures and had a steady job.
3) She is over thirty years old.

This brings me to my point. The first point made him a potential husband, not a boyfriend, not a chewing gum boy or boyfriend and he cared so much for her, he also tried to help her to be rational. This was my response to her.

"Darling if you have a good job and you are out of school and over thirty years old and you are crying because you did not get 80K to buy your weave and you want to leave a potential somebody, the juju somebody did for you must be working"
She didn't expect that response from me. We kept talking and then i explained it to her.
This is what i mean. We females were brought up under the notion that a man has to take care of our needs.
It is very correct.Keyword NEEDS not WANTS, even if it is wants, something he can afford. That is the role of a HUSBAND.
As a boyfriend, it is up to him to do that, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.
A man who loves his lady will show her that in a thousand ways and more. Ladies, pay attention to how he treats you, Exotic hair doesn't always prove love.
This is my fair judgement, if a woman is at least thirty years old, has finished school, has a job, she has no business begging a man to buy Brazilian, Malaysian, Chinese or whatever citizenship of hair she decides to put on her head. As a woman, hair is part of grooming, take great pride in maintaining your hair yourself, begging a man for money at that age to buy hair sounds to me like a man asking a woman money to cut his hair, i know in monetary value they are different but it sounds like that to me. Every relationship is different but while dating abeg do shakara small.

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 23

I was taken aback by what i had just heard, was this man professing "like" to me. I looked at him, apart from poverty, we were not of the same social standing in any way.
"Thank you" was all i managed to say
"No be just thank you matter, i really like you" he said with a smile. I didn't want to start trying to figure out what he meant by liking me.
"Okay Sunday, i have heard" i told him. It was the best way to end awkward conversations without getting into arguments.
"Grace, i never tell you this kind thing before, but i want make you believe anything i tel you, Sunday said to me in the calmest voice  i have ever heard him use to speak.
"Sunday please i have things to do, i need to go inside" i told him impatiently. I was tired of hearing his "like" story which was leading to nowhere.
"No vex" he said looking like his feelings were hurt. Just simple reverse psychology which would not work for me.
"Lets talk later" i told him. He didn't say anything, instead he put his hands in his pocket and walked away. I looked at him as he walked away,

***************************************************************
Olisa came home this afternoon, he seemed very happy to see me. He greeted me warmly when i opened the door and went to see his mom and his sisters. I was mopping the kitchen floor when he came in with two bags.
"Grace, how are you?" he asked me looking into my eyes. He was wearing a baby blue polo shirt and navy blue jeans.
"I am fine Olisa, how are you doing? How is school? I asked.
"I am doing well, i brought this for you" he said and handed two bags to me which i nervously took from him.
"What is this for?" I asked him without looking at the content of the bags.
"A token of appreciation" he said and smiled. I opened the first bag, it contained food from Sweet Sensations. The second bag had new clothes with tags on them.
"Thank you for the food, but i cannot take the clothes" i replied.
"Why?" he asked, his facial expression had changed from straight up excited to puzzled.
"It is just a present" he said and looked into my eyes, i did not want to hurt his feelings but i know i already did.
"Any other thing but not clothes, they are expensive too, those are boutique clothes, where would i wear them to" i asked.
"You can wear them when you are off work, i just wanted to do something nice for you" he said.I began to feel like an ingrate of some sort.
"I really appreciate it Olisa but what have i done to deserve clothes" i asked him, sometimes things like this would end up having a form of payment due.
"Nothing, just being graceful" he said and began to walk away like he had just lost a battle. I didn't know what to do or even tel him but i also didn't want him to leave the kitchen sad.
"Wait Olisa, thank you so much, i truly appreciate the gesture" i said to him.
"Its okay, i just wanted to surprise you,but instead i ended up surprising myself" he said.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I hugged him and surprisingly he hugged me back too, We held each other.
The kitchen door opened, before i could react, a female face appeared shocked looking at both of us locked in an embrace.
"What is going on here?"